Supposedly the Master Chief that can override my entry into any MOS that requires a security clearance is due to return from leave sometime this week. Here’s hoping that he can work his Navy magic and allow me to resume my intended career path.
For some added inspiration, here are some SEALs being some hard ass motherfuckers.
Today has been a horribly horrible and terribly terrible day.
I am numb to everything.
I feel the need for copious amounts of alcohol and just want to curl up into a ball and just sleep. Perhaps things might seem better afterward?
I was sad when I lost my first relationship of 4 years, but relationships come and go, today I had my career dreams crushed, not even into smithereens, into quarks and nothingness.
6+ years I had dedicated to learning everything I could about the Navy and what I wanted to do within it. Literally bled, sweat, and cried over the time it took me to prepare for today. Thousands of hours of PT, push-ups, and countless nights of little to no sleep. It had become my life, my obsession, my motivation, and my tether to reality. Not to mention the time I spent studying to get a perfect score on the ASVAB….. and the paperwork! Do you have any idea how much more paperwork I had to do than the average applicant? All because I wasn’t born a U.S. citizen.
I feel betrayed. I feel let down. I feel like I’ve been punched in the throat and just left to suck in whatever air I could.
To save you all some breath, I’ve been disqualified from any MOS/Rate involving a need for a security clearance all because my mother has a cousin who lives in Bulgaria and is not a U.S. Citizen or willing to renounce her Bulgarian Citizenship.
GUYS GUYS GUYS, and GALS! I know I only have a very small following, but I just thought I’d let you all know that there was someone from Tumblr who has gone and helped me immensely, to the point where I will consider myself in her debt for a long, long time.
That being said, she is perhaps the absolute sweetest, and kindest person you could ever hope to get to know. PLEASE GO FOLLOW HER! You wont regret it, I can promise you that.
Men who put on helmets, run onto a field and fight to defend a country should be paid a lot more then men who put on helmets, run onto a field and fight to defend a ball
And don’t give me that bullshit about how the athletes only have a few years to make all their money for the rest of their lives. Fucking man up and get a job if you need the money. Trust me, you’re not too good to work at Publix or Home Depot.
It’s just one of those nights where the facade is crumbling and revealing me.
So here it is for the world to know. Don’t say I haven’t warned you.
I’m an egotistical, elitist, cynic asshole, with a RAGING superiority complex and a don’t give a fuck attitude…. it takes a lot to be able to stand me when I go off… I mean really. Guilt is usually the only thing that brings me back to reality and helps me calm the fuck down.
Ya know what really pisses me off. When people bitch and make their life out to be so fucking bad because I dunno…their friends stopped talking to them or they’re having a bad hair day…or their daddy won’t buy them something. FUCK YOU. I understand people deal with things differently but there are…
I’m a guy, but please do not judge me. Please don’t give up on me just yet even though I have given you a million a billion reasons and mistakes to give you every right to.
I’m not going to tell you that I’m not shallow, because I am. I know that I do check out those “hot” girls and history would prove that went up to them for those reasons alone. Although I know you want to hear different, I’m not going to promise that I will never hurt you. Because chances are is that I will just end up hurting you over and over again. And don’t believe me when I say that I will never let my jealously take over me. Don’t believe me when I tell you that I will never ignore you. And don’t believe me when I say that you will always be my priority to spend my time with.
I can’t tell you that the tears that shed from your eyes will never be caused by me. I can’t tell you that we will never fight and that you will never lose your trust in me. I can’t tell you any of these things because the truth is that I’m not perfect. Every stereotypical remark that you can think of a guy would be a description of me. I admit it.
But please don’t give up on me yet; at least until you hear what I have to say.
I’m shallow because my eyes deceive me into thinking I’m falling for someone. But believe me when I say that all I’m looking for is that one girl whose beauty in the inside doesn’t deceive my heart. And as many times as I hurt you or break your heart, please believe when I say that I say I’m truly not trying to. I know that I make stupid mistakes over and over again and will hope and wonder why you are still there over and over again.
And if any guy comes near you, of course I will feel jealous. No, not because I don’t trust you. It’s because I’m scared you will finally figure out that I don’t deserve you and find a someone who will treat you better. I’m sorry for the times when I ignore you and don’t spend time for you. Truth is that I’ve taken you for granted when I shouldn’t of. I know my stupidity will cause you to cry which will always break my heart even when I try to act like it doesn’t. I know my pride will make me fight with you even when I know I’m wrong. And I know you will lose your trust in me as I continue this cycle of making mistakes.
I’m a guy. I know I’m not perfect. But the only promise I can give you is that I will love you. My stupid actions and mistake may not show it all the time, but I do love you. So please don’t judge me. Please don’t give up on me. I’m a guy trying to be better to treat you right. I’m just a guy who is in love with you; who needs you in his life even if I don’t deserve you in it.
Hey there, I'm Petar!
All I'll say on here about me is that I'm a future Navy Sailor, and once I recover from this stupid knee injury I'll be back on track to re-earning my contract. I have the utmost respect for the opposite gender, and a more than healthy appreciation for the female form. Corgis are probably the cutest thing on the face of this planet, and that driving a Ferrari down an open highway is probably the closest anyone can ever get to Nirvana.
Plus a little bit of this, and a pinch of that which tickles my fancy, you'll see.
Also, you should ask me stuff and actually talk to me because I'd really like to get to know you! :D